Then I am Strong.

Jesus IS real.

The Bible tells me so…

I painted this picture of Him during a three-day migraine.

By the third day, I ended up in urgent care—the pain was excruciating. Whatever medication they gave me worked while it was being injected, but the moment it wore off, the pain came back raging like a wildfire.

All I wanted was darkness. No TV, no phone, no lights, just silence. Even the sound of the TV remote clicking felt like it rattled through my entire head.

And yet… something told me to get up and paint.

So I did.

That picture now sits on my fireplace mantle, and it has become like an altar. It’s where I go to cry, to pray, to talk with Him. It’s where I bring everything, the heavy stuff and the happy stuff.

I have an open concept kitchen/living room so I cook there too… and He probably chuckles as He watches me burn just about everything I try to bake. I can paint a mural, but I can’t bake a cake without ruining it.

After all these years, I still can’t get it right… but I do try right Auntie Carol?????

Anyways- I’ve come to realize that I need Jesus in every inch of my home.

Because when the hard moments come and they sure do, sometimes they are completely unexpected so I need to be prepared. Prepared for the enemy to try and slip in any tiny little crack, but when my home, my mind, and my heart are continually covered… there is no space for him to stay.

Because where Jesus dwells, darkness cannot remain.

So there is no space left untouched by the Holy Spirit in our house… Even the foundation.

Because what’s unseen is often what matters most.

“My Power shows up best in weak people. Now I am glad to boast about how weak I am; I am glad to be living demonstration of Christ’s power, instead of showing off my own power and abilities. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite happy about “The Thorn” and about the insults and hardships, persecutions and difficulties; for when I am weak, then I am strong- the less I have the more I depend on HIM” 2 Corinthians 12:2-9-10

Wow… what a powerful verse.

There have been days of enormous pain—days when I truly feel like I cannot go on. And yet, I’ve come to this undeniable conclusion: it is Jesus who carries me through.

Because there is no possible way a human being can endure this kind of weight alone. No amount of strength, willpower, or determination is enough.

Our bodies were not built to handle it all…
but we were created to rely on the One who can.

And maybe that’s the point.

That in this time of breaking, in my weakness, in the moments I feel I have nothing left, I learn to lean into the One who sustains me.

Without Jesus, I am nothing. I simply can’t do it.

I don’t say that from a place of defeat but from a place of understanding. I’ve felt what it’s like to reach the end of myself. MAX CAPACITY. To have no strength left, no answers, no ability to push through on my own. So in that extremely dark place… I realized something life changing,

I was never meant to do this alone.

Without Him, I am empty. But with Him, I am sustained. Fully sustained. MAX CAPACITY.

With Him, I endure. With Him, I can.
With Him, I find strength I cannot explain.

Because when I have nothing left, he is everything I need.

Without my suffering, I wouldn’t know this truth.

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